2006-12-02 - 3:02 a.m.
Today, my darlings, is World AIDS Day. Did you know this? Believe me when I tell you that I have the utmost sympathy for folks who suffer from this horrific illness. And I am in absolute favor of the public funding of public clinics, housing facilities, and food suppliers like PROJECT ANGEL FOOD, who treat those who are afflicted. Anyone who lived through the actual crest of the wave of the disease, and who isn’t a monster in human form, would think the same.
Being in my early 40s, I have known several folks who have died of AIDS, and I am frequently amazed by the sweet young buttercups in their 20s whom I sometimes come into contact with who have never met or known a single person who died of it. I think that’s a good thing, of course. But the important thing to realize is that AIDS is fought, not with noodle headed educational programs that are merely corrupt trap drains for corporate and personal donations, but by the supposedly diabolical pharmaceutical companies, who invented the drug cocktails and whatnot.
I had a friend who worked for one of the mercenary charity groups – either Stop AIDS or AIDS Walk or AIDS Ride or whatever – and he was paid FORTY THOUSAND BUCKS a YEAR to hang out on street corners and get people to sign petitions. That’s nuts! That could be money that could be used to run a whole hospice for a week.
He even laughed about it himself, and about what a scam the AIDS industry is.
“Damn, this is one cushy job!” he cackled. “The best part is, who would call it that? I mean, all I do is walk around all day and say ‘Gee – I hope you are wearing a CONDOM!” Ha ha ha ha ha ah!”
Even more than in the 80s, when they were first created, the AIDS charity industry has become a self perpetuating group of scammers who sell compassion as a commodity. Sixty percent of their overhead goes to administration! The rest goes to printing up pamphlets that tell you to wear a condom. D’uh!
The thing the people who work for such agencies fear more than anything is that some day there might be a cure for AIDS. Then they will be utterly out of work and shall have to go back to their jobs playing three card monty on the sidewalk.
What brings this to mind right now is this article I have just read in the newspaper, which proudly announces that, in honor of World AIDS Day, several American airlines are going to show a dreary three hour documentary about African children dying of the HIV. How pleasant! What is the good of this, other than to utterly depress every passenger on every flight? I bet the stewardesses are going to go through the aisles with little cups, begging for money, too. But the publicity the airlines get from hosting the dull, miserable movie is worth hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of free press – money which the airline isn’t donating anywhere.
As it is, many of the AIDS charities are more about fashion than about actually helping. I read in another paper that The Gay Millionaires Club is sponsoring five riders in the upcoming AIDS bike marathon. Do you know what the Gay Millionaires Club is? It is an organization that connects rich old goats with avaricious young gold diggers. But, gosh, since they’re sponsoring a bicycle – wow, they are such humanitarians! What the heck good is this going to do? All that means is that the company is getting incredible free publicity at a substantially lower price than buying a TV or magazine ad would be. They are being economical, not philanthropic.
“Oh but if we go away,” the charity scammers moan, “Who will tell the young people that they should wear condoms?” Come on. As if ANYONE doesn’t know to wear a condom these days. They teach that crap in sixth grade. The schoolteacher lady I work for tells me about the sex ed classes where they give out all that info. It is my personal belief that all the lecturing in the world just makes people want to NOT use condoms. Like they are being subversive. Like they’re being “bad.” It’s exactly the same as the Just Say ‘No’ propaganda – it just made you want to run right up and smoke a doobie.
Because I will tell you something: You can preach all you want, but sex feels better without a condom. And that’s the terrible truth. And until you address that on a psychological level you are merely throwing money into a black pit.
And, let’s face it, no one gets out alive. There are as many ways to die as there are stars in the heavens. Madness. All is madness! You don’t believe me? Then more fool you, and the world is full of fools. Infinitus Est Numerous Stultorum, as the Emperor said. It’s enough to make you squawk and squeak, yammer and shriek.
Did you read about this Russian dissident who died horribly of radiation poisoning, his hair falling out, vomiting blood and internal organs, and shrieking in agony? Damn, this was quite a fearful tale – but it was more fascinating for the events surrounding the story than for the man’s demise itself. This all happened in London, but since the death, investigators have found traces of radiation in a Sushi Bar, at a hotel, and on 9 airplanes on which something like 30,000 passengers have flown. Now all 30,000 of those passengers are being told to get themselves checked out for fear of coming down with something horrific. It’s quite amazing, really.
But what an efficient way of killing someone this is: It’s quite deadly, but yet no one detects or suspects it for hours if not days after it happens. And the amount of terror such a death causes is really out of all proportion considering the amount of effort it requires to pry open the back of a dental X-ray machine and drop a radiation pellet into the jacket pocket of some hapless doofus.
I predict that when the terrorists move into their actual assault on the US, which is inevitable, they shall use radiation. I mean, why not? You can just leave a nasty glowing pellet on the Number 1 IRT train in Manhattan – or even better, at Grand Central Station -- and infect almost a million people in a matter of minutes. It’s more efficient even than biotoxins, I’d think.
